CERTIFIED NO MORE MR NICE GUY COACH
I help nice guys with relationship issues to find themselves and create better lives
If your journey through life isn't turning out the way you planned it... you are in the right place. I am a certified No More Mr Nice Guy Coach, recovering Nice Guy and am ready to walk with you on your journey.
Become a more integrated male
Create stronger partnerships
Become more intimate with purpose
Are your intimate relationships keeping you awake at night for all the wrong reasons?
See if any of these fit for you and here's a clue, you may not be thinking them about yourself, but someone may have said this to you.
- You avoid conflict because you would rather keep a steady ship
- You often look for the approval of others, your wife, girlfriend or workmates
- You aren't too great at expressing your feelings
- You have said to yourself, 'I am not going to be like my father'
- You are great at giving, super generous, but don't often get what you want in return
- You like to help people (most often women)
- You go to great lengths to hide your flaws
- You are a bit of a martyr, putting other peoples needs ahead of your own
- Your closest relationships aren't working out the way you thought they would
If any of the above feels familiar - you are probably what's known as a Nice Guy
I am a certified No More Mr Nice Guy Coach and my work is informed by Dr Robert Glover's book No More Mr Nice Guy. In it he describes the flawed beliefs that underpin how a Nice Guy operates.
I'm a good bloke
If I am a good guy, everyone will love me and like me (and people I desire will desire me).
I am super helpful
If I meet other people's needs without them having to ask, they will meet my needs without me having to ask.
I do it the right way
If I do everything right, then I will have a smooth, problem-free life.
It just never works out right though does it? You believe you are doing the right thing but you keep getting let down by significant others. You are thinking that you give so much, how come you don't get it back in return? But here's the truth, you have probably been told you are sometimes passive-aggressive (ouch huh), hide your emotions, lie and don't say what you want. The real truth is you avoid conflict and probably withdraw when you are hurt. You may be feeling trapped in your relationship and might be hiding things, so people don't see your flaws.
I understand the pain in this - I am a recovering Nice Guy too!
Want to find out how deep you are in this Nice Guy business? Take the quiz below.
Recovery from the Nice Guy Syndrome is not about becoming a better man or getting rid of anything. Recovery is about becoming more “you.”
Dr. Robert Glover, No More Mr. Nice Guy
Book a free strategy sessions with The Coach
starting your nice guy recovery journey
one-on-one coaching
Tailored coaching designed uniquely for you. Working over a series of 12 sessions, we take a deep dive into the challenges you are working with and map out a weekly plan to get the results you are looking for. I specialise in removing the limiting beliefs you may hold and transforming your world view.
Click on the button below for more information on coaching.
Online men's group
One of the most important ways for Nice Guy's to recover is spending time with other authentic men. Men who are able to hold accountability, share vulnerability and be real.
Our fortnightly virtual men's group is also supported by a private chat group and group coaching sessions.
Cost only $65/month. Click on the button for more information.
High impact - transformative weekend workshop
Our weekend workshops create a rapid, deep immersion into a man's psyche and the shadows that drive us. Working together we travel a hero's journey into the workings of the authentic masculine - showing up in the world as the man you want to be and what your partner is crying out for.
Click below for further information.
Starting your Nice Guy recovery is a 3-step process - your hero's journey
If you are ready to overcome your Nice Guy behaviors then lets get started. This is a journey into you authentic self. Authentic's root word is author - that's you - in charge of your quest.
- 1VICTIM - Leave your known world and all the things that aren't serving you and with courage jump into the unknown. Start by arranging a free strategy session with me.
- 2CREATOR - Schedule the 12 weekly sessions at a mutually agreeable time and start your journey to greater intimacy and a stronger partnerships. There may be dragons on the way! Ill be your guide and support you to get up when you need it.
- 3HERO - Return to the world with all the gifts of who you are. Put into action your life's mission. Join one of our men's groups for fortnightly support with other recovering Nice Guy's and live an authentic life.
About Alister
CERTIFIED NO MORE MR NICE GUY COACH
Every decent story you have ever read or seen has a hero, a villain, a victim and a guide. Each of us have them within us and I travel across all of these every day. With you, I am here to be your guide, your Yoda in helping you on your quest.
My nice guy recovery started 16 years (I didn't know it at the time) when I went on a men's only, intensive weekend workshop and met a group of men, fully prepared to talk about the feelings, their vulnerability and their life's purpose. It was a game changer. I have been honored to sit in hundreds of men's circles since then, learning what it is like to be working with the the authentic masculine. I have personally witnessed the hero's journey of hundreds of men and the profound effect it has on their lives.
In 2020 I read Dr Glover's No More Mr Nice Guy book. I could not believe that this man, on the other side of the world knew so much about what I was dealing with! It was uncanny. I wanted to fix myself overnight of this terrible affliction that was driving me. It felt painful, depressing sometimes, anxious others. Damn if there wasn't a pill to fix it. So, I learnt it doesn't happen overnight. Years to undo the mayhem that was caused in my family of origin when I was younger. Through this journey however, I did discover I had a gift in helping other men. At the age of 55 I pivoted from my successful sales and marketing career and am currently studying in Auckland to be a counsellor, working with men, giving back.
I am looking forward to working with you, to finding your deep innate integrated masculine.
If you are ready to become the hero and transform your life, then lets talk soon. Let's find your mission and get curious about your journey together.
“When we are no longer able to change a situation – we are challenged to change ourselves.” – Viktor Frankl
You have a couple of choices now...
You can continue to live the way you have been living. Aware you aren't living the life you dreamt about, but perhaps not feeling the pain enough to change. Or you could make the first steps today in finding your own authentic integrated masculine and designing the life you always imagined you could have. It starts with a phone call... talk to you soon.
I am a husband, father, coach, student, entrepreneur, trainer, marketer and business person. I am also a recovering Mr Nice Guy. Where are you on your journey?
If you are ready to become a hero and transform your life, give me a call today.
Copyright 2021 The Coach | Alister Gates - Privacy Policy