No More Mr Nice Guy

My world shifted in 2020 when I read Dr Robert Glover's No More Mr Nice Guy book. My first reaction was how could this man on the other side of the world know me so well? I though he had written the book for me! Almost every page told a story of my life and the struggles I have in intimate relationships, my toxic shame, people pleasing, passive aggressive ways.

If you have arrived here you must suspect you might be a nice guy too? Click on the link below to take a quick quiz.

Overcoming your NMMNG ways

The programming we received as boys has set us on this very familiar path. It is ingrained in us and my even be multi-generational. What I want you to know is you aren't alone. There are 100's maybe even 1000's of us men in New Zealand that can identify as a Nice Guy. One of the key ways to overcome the barriers is to open up about it.

I'm not OK

It's time to overcome that core belief that I am not OK. You caught this little gem when you were very young. It isn't true by the way.

Fear of abandonment

This also started when you were very young. Everyone experiences it to some level, us Nice Guys more so than many. Maybe you had to be seen as something different in order to get your fathers attention or to make your mom happy?

A very deep level of shame

This can be called toxic shame as well. It manifests as the self criticism because it isn't ok to express my feelings. Maybe I don't make mum happy or dad is angry at me. When I am scared or cry no one comes?

I'm really good at hiding my flaws

I have worked out that if I hide my flaws then I will be loved. And when I am loved I can get my needs met. Things turn out ok then right? Well probably not so much.

The good news is help is just a phone call away.

Take this quiz to find out how you rate as a Nice Guy